Saturday, September 17, 2011

Personal: When...

You know you're a Catholic school girl when....

1) You have perfected the "sweet, shy, and innocent" look.
2) Parents always say what a great influence you are on their child.
3) You have no problem joking about being a lesbian.
4) Girls always come before guys when it comes to the important things.
5) You have put endless amounts of gum underneath church pews.
6) You get to college and find that not everyone thinks it is "normal" for girls to go to class with unshaven legs, unbrushed hair, and no makeup.
7) Your name has Catherine, Mary, or Elizabeth somewhere in it.
8) At least one of your friends thought they were pregnant your freshman year.
9) You lie. A lot.
10) You go to school looking like you just woke up... literally.
11) You have perfected the art of cheating by stapling the answers to the inside of your plaid skirt.
12) You and your friends' menstrual cycles are syncronized from being around each other so much.
13) You would be easily beaten in any food fight.
14) You have no problem walking into a room and screaming "Does anybody have a tampon?!?"
15) Seeing guys under 30 wandering around after school (who aren't teachers and priests) fufill your daydreams that you had during Religion class.
16) You address the nuns with nicknames.
17) You know the hair-dying rules are NOT enforced, no matter what the handbook says.
18) You happen to forget your nametag, and you have no problem pretending to be one of your friends who had a spare to get out of trouble.
19) Lunch tables are the social structure of your class.
20) Everytime someone comes on the intercom, you automatically make the Sign of the Cross (it's either prayertime or you're praying you aren't getting called down to the office AGAIN).
21) You miss school regularly for multiple "doctor appointments."
22) You have a JUG collection so large you could wallpaper your room yellow.
23) You know it is possible to simply "forget" to shower.
24) Birthdays are never complete without loud obnoxious singing, drumming on tables, at least 15 balloons, and girls screaming about how they're never going to eat a single cookie ever again (just to do it again the next week).
25) Having someone compliment your agenda decorations sincerely brightens your day.
26) You show your affection to your girlfriends by addressing them with various obscenities such as "slut", "whore", and "****rag."
27) Notes passed in class aren't written on looseleaf paper, but rather through email.
28) When you make a new friend the first thing you ask isn't their last name, what grammar school they went to, or where they live, but what their birthday and favorite color is so you can fill up another space in your agenda.
29) You check in late and/or leave early to avoid taking tests, presenting projects, or turning in papers at least three times a month.
30) You've forfeited studying for baking last-minute birthday cookies/cupcakes/brownies at least once.
31) You spend more time planning for Gym Day than you do for your birthday party.
32) Every song you hear on the radio you examine and consider as a possible choice for lyric revision to be made into a class cheer.
33) You have more glitter pens than regular ballpoint pens and pencils put together.
34) Your religion book's binding doesn't have any creases in it and could be easily re-packaged and re-sold as brand new.
35) You know that the orthopeadic shoe industry is supported mainly by nuns.
36) Your school shoes have molded not only to the shape of your foot as a whole, but also to the curve of each and every toe.
37) You find that your closet has substainally less clothing than your public school friends-- who needs five pairs of jeans when you wear a uniform everyday?
38) You very obviously favor one boys' school over the rest.
39) Your phone spends more time in a teacher's desk than it does in your purse because you are a little too fond of text messaging your friends across the room.
40) You own at least two pairs of PE shorts from a boys' school.
41) You willingly and frequently wear these shorts out in public.
42) You have at least three layers of three different colors of fingernail polish on at one time-- chipped to reveal a little bit of each color, of course.
43) You have mastered the art of hiding your iPod in your sweatshirt and pulling the earbuds up through your sleeve to listen to it while you pretend to be paying attention.
44) Not only do you have your friends' clothes at your house, they have your clothes at their houses too, and you consider them shared property and rotate them around as necessary.
45) The word "vagina" doesn't bother you at all.
46) Looking around, you can tell who's single and who's not by who's got the most stubble on their legs.
47) You cafeteria food is amazing!
48) You use your "illegal" haircut with your "illegal" dye job to hide the "illegal" piercings in your ears.
49) You have never used your highlighter for its intended purpose, but rather as a replacement for when your yellow Crayola marker happens to run out.50) You've got school spirit and you AREN'T afraid to show it.
51) You're an expert at skirt rolling (and unrolling) as well as skirt pinning and skirt stapling..
52) The skirt you're wearing wasn't originally your own-- it was passed down to you from your sister, cousin, or your sister's best friend's cousin.
53) You welcome the much needed comic relief of your teachers.
54) You have a supply of at least ten excuses ready for when the lab attendant catches you checking your email at school.
55) You wonder why the school doesn't seem to see the irony in a good portion of the staff being less than heterosexual.
56) When you find the back to your nametag, you can't find the name part to fix it. When you find the name part, you've lost the back again.
57) You wear your school blouse under your sweatshirt less than half of the time.
58) The "cramps" excuse doesn't get you anywhere.
59) Your hair has been more than two colors at at least one point in your high school career.
60) You don't think twice when you hear the Spice Girls being sung loudly from somewhere down the hallway.
61) In certain company, you describe the grades below you as "cute." Within your own group of friends, this "cute" translates into "annoying little bitches."
62) You know of or can easily create an excuse to have a food party in ANY class-- even language.
63) You can twist the lyrics to any song to somehow go along with your prayer service.
64) Even though you promised your teacher you'd be quick in the bathroom, your "fast" run to go pee turns into a search for an operating tampon machine.
65) You've seen one too many self-tanning disasters.
66) You have more group pictures from dances than couple pictures.
67) You know how to survive the lunch line and navigate out of the chaos back to your table without getting any ketchup stains on your sweatshirt.
68) You use the five-minute morning prayers to do last minute cramming for your first period test.
69) You use the school newspaper as a book cover when your teacher announces a surprise book cover check.
70) You hear the F-word more times in a day than you hear "the", "of", "a", or "is" put together.
71) You can't understand why other schools don't get the day after Halloween off.
72) You take your notes with you to Mass and cram during the homily.
73) You know they don't REALLY send in those drug tests. *wink wink*
74) Your substitute teacher never shows up, but your class behaves anyway.
75) You tried to pass your Shakespeare test by renting Romeo+ Juliet starring Leonardo DiCaprio.
76) When you wear spandex under everything(skirts, dresses, jeans, sweatpants, shorts etc)

Honestly, this is oh so true


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